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Must Have Old School Android Games

Tumblrers who have written about this subject in the past have often limited their idea “retro gaming” to mainstream games. (Yes, you’re guilty of this too, Tumbler Hipsters! Like we don’t know about Oregon Trail for the Apple II computers enough!)

Today, I’m taking about games that really have fallen off the grid that anyone who has used a computer between 1987 and 2000 remembers. So put your NESes and Segas away finally and look up these games.

Doom and Quake

I want to give kudos to Jack Nui for porting not just Doom to Android, but Quake as well. Doom being the fun action game where you slay zombies and aliens. And Quake being Doom’s multiplayer brother where you and your friends can frag each other over the Internet, and thanks to Nui, now WiFi.

Now the next generation of helicopter mothers can fret for their children being exposed to violent videogames. (LOL, Just Kidding.) I’m sure anyone old enough to remember when these games came out, the massive freak out made by the Witches’ Council of Concerned Mothers who spazzed out over these games. In order to prevent this from happening again: 1. Don’t tell your mom. 2. Don’t make a level map that looks like your high school. (Last thing anyone needs is another spazz out like in 1999 when the Mainstream Media found out Eric Harris like to make Doom level maps that looked like his high school in his spare time.)

Quake’s music and sound designer was of course Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor. If you don’t believe that, the game designers skinned some of the item boxes in the game to have the band’s iconic NIИ logo.

Today, Doom has been ported to just about every computer system possible, and was even ported to Flash.

I haven’t got a chance to play Quake a whole lot yet. Partly because AT&T (sadly my ISP) won’t let me use the WiFi on my Verizon-powered Motorola Droid over their crappy 2wire modem. So if anyone knows how to tell AT&T to knock there crap off so I can play with my friends online WIRELESSLY on my smartphone, I’m open to your replies.

Assuming you know where to find them and how to install them, you can get these games for free for your PC. Steam has had Quake available since 2007.

Rodent’s Vengeance

The first home computer I ever had in my house came with the Microsoft Windows Entertainment Pack (WEP) for Windows 3.11. One of the games that I remember fondly is Roden’t Revenge, where you play a mouse and must box in all the cats trying to eat you. Created by Christopher Lee Fraley in 1991, this game has been reborn—or cloned in this case—by Mike Reynolds as Rodent’s Vengeance, first as a Java applet, then as an Android App. I don’t know why people are complaining about the paid version. I guess they don’t like to move diagonally like the pussy cats that are trying to eat them.

Living Neko

Speaking of cats, System 7 Mac Users may remember this adorable creature.

Neko was originally a DeskApp for MacOS 7 (maybe older) created in 1989 by Kenji Gotoh. This kitty would be used in several other games. Many of which have disappeared from the Internet over the years. For a few years now, Neko has returned as sort of a webtoy using JavaScript. Living Neko is the Android App version of Neko and you can play with more than just one cat or even just cats for that matter.

On a related note, check out the NyanCat Game for Android.

SkiFree

Another veteran of the 1991 WEP was SkiFree! The downhill skiing game (Free for download for PC, and plays well on Linux with Wine) is now an Android App clone.

If you’ve forgotten all about this, perhaps this bastard will jog your memory.

Not enough? OK, how about all those times he did this to you?

Solitaire

Since I’ve found quite a few old Windows and Mac Games, why not wrap it up with the original time waster. I’m talking of Solitaire. Ken Magic’s Solitaire is a good procrastination tool. No ads. You can play four styles of Solitaire, and it’s gentile on the battery. I’m still looking for a Video Poker game that is this “no frills” as this game. I haven’t found it yet.

The Wish List

In closing, here’s few old games I would like to see be ported to Android, and I’m sure you would too.

• Oni - Originally a Mac Game, it became a PC and PS2 game. The game combined both FPS and hand-to-hand combat. However, the folks a Rockstar Games and Bungie (the guys who make Halo, cut out a lot of features including multiplayer.) Over the years, Oni’s fanbase continued to grow to the point that fans took it upon themselves to create an Anniversary Edition in 2007 and fix the Windows version where the game wouldn’t play on Windows XP. (It played on Windows ME, but that operating system was a joke!) Fans are trying to wrestle Oni out of Bungie’s hands especially after Bungie had put it into cold storage when Microsoft bought the developer.
• Kitten Shaver 2 - This cruel but humorous game made for Mac in 1997 is not a slight against cats. You won’t be doing anything awful, but the inside joke is that you do get to shave the cats in the game (though not in detail). Basically, you use your cursor to chase down a few Nekos, some of which have several layers of fur. Sadly, this game has fallen off the Internet and really needs revamping.
• Bill The Demon - Created for Mac in 1996, this game was ported to Flash in 2005 and posted on Newgrounds. A side scrolling puzzle action game, you eat souls and make terrible noises as Bill the Demon.
• Harry the Handsome Executive - Created for Mac in 1997, if memory serves me correctly. Think Indiana Jones meets Dilbert.
• Jared Butcher of Song (Because you know you want to hear this on your non-iPhone smartphone.)

I’m sure there are others online that could be brought back to life for a next generation of gamers to enjoy or to make the older generations of gamers happy. Enjoy!

Cleaning up Android’s Contacts, but at what cost?

So, remember earlier this month when I listed a short list of android apps that still won’t store on the SD card, and how on the top of that list was Contact Storage? There is a solution for that but it comes at a price. The easy part is going to GMail or Yahoo! Mail and making sure your contacts are up to date followed by creating the .vcf file via the Import/Export feature (in this case Export) on the Contacts application on your Android device. The hard part is pressing “clear data” in the applications manager then re-importing your contacts from the .vcf file.

While the problem allegedly stems from Facebook being a memory hog during data synchronization with Facebook contacts, the solution that Carl Eisenstein proposed does not really solve the problem, it only offers a temporary fix. As sure enough, instead of Contact Storage setting off the Low Space alert, the Browser set it off this time. And the data it cached wasn’t nearly large enough to prompt the warning. Reguardless, I flushed the Browser’s cache.

Eisenstein’s solution also wiped out a few contacts I was sure the .vcf file would have saved and reloaded some old contacts I was certain I removed from my Gmail Contacts. It also wiped the call log.

There is no doubt that in the near future, I will still have issues with “Low Memory Space” that will ultimately cause my text messages to be blocked because there is “Not enough space to receive text messages”.

Something is going on in the background that is ultimately occupying what should be free space. It’s just not listed on the list of apps and it is making other things like desktop apps and the list of apps in the app menu to take forever to load. In one instance, I was in the middle of a phone call and the phone restarted. In another instance, I couldn’t swipe the green phone icon to answer a call, so the phone kept on ringing. Then there was the call that went straight to voice mail despite the fact that the ringer was on high volume. The phone did not ring.

Don’t get me started on how I can’t use WiFi to connect to my home network anymore with my phone.

There is clearly some sabotage going on. Slowly but surely more unorthodox things seem to be occuring, and they will continue to happen since none of the major phone providers seem to want to hire a in-house telephone technician to fix phones. There is only so much that some kid behind a computer screen can do with a program that should be accessible to anyone who owns a cellphone can do before it’s rightful physician is someone with an Electrical Engineering degree and a set of tiny screwdrivers.

Of course, the corporate/accounting/marketing folks will think it is more profitable to send your device to some one-sized fits all “repair center” who will fix everyphone with an individual diagnosis as blaming every medical condition a human could ever have on Lupus. And as we all know, it’s never Lupus.

Who knows how many perfectly good electronic devices are in a West-African dump because of this slow, impersonal system of electronic repair? Especially with more devices that won’t let you back up EVERYTHING?

I ultimately believe it is time for some techies (especially those who have been forced into unemployment or “slave labor” jobs) to take up offering their services to start their own business. You have the skills to pay the bills. You’re not going to get that job you wanted making chips for AMD. Your not going to be designing the newest fastest operating systems, programs, or electronic components for folks at Motorola, Texas Instruments, Hewlett-Packard, Microsoft, or Radio Shack. Not as long as the people who run these companies (who aren’t techies, they are shareholders and capitalists who are really running these companies…into the ground) are in charge.

Our only hope at this point to preserve technological freedom is to void the warranty. Root that phone! So what if you have to pay extra to get the next one. You can tell the guy at the phone store that the folks who set the rules for Intellectual Property to cover their asses clearly had no respect for either YOUR Intelect or YOUR Property.

If they had, maybe you could recover everything you have or store ALL of your data to the SD card. If you can run a Linux distro from a jump drive, there should be no excuse for not saving all of your data and protecting it from marketers and data minors or even the folks who claim “the law has the right to go into your phone without a warrant” (which as an American, you should know that you have the right to keep your data private even if it is stored in the cloud or some offsite server.)

It is time we assert our rights as techies to tell the folks who are making money off our silent consent we’re done being quiet and compliant. We pay them too much and get too little.

If there is one thing this capitalist system hates it is producers, creators, makers, developers, and folks who come up with new ideas that the profiteers will sue the inventors just to keep their “disruptive technology” off the market. The capitalists seem to be all for “free market principals” until someone new comes along with something new that takes away the power they stole from someone else or whenever the voice of the people ask the government to step in an create laws that level the playing field. (Funny, they have no problem with telling government to make laws that let private industry get away with murder, but when the government makes a law stating “murder is illegal” the profiteers are the first in line to demand the law to be repealed or weakened with exceptions.)

But I suppose my post has strayed from the point of the original subject of this post.

We just deserve better than what we have right now. We should be thriving, not surviving.

Someday, soon I hope, we will make an active change in this country. One that is active and scares the living crap out of the industrialists who’ve clandestinely run this country in their favor. One that shows the lockstep congressmen that they’ve become the very thing they disdained for decades during the Cold War. That individual choice is better than manufactured hivemind disenfranchisement and manipulation.

Hackers don’t need to bring down the Internet. That would be stupid. Generally the folks taking down the internet are the Chinese cyberterrorists or the industrialists who make up the absurd speculations that hackers want to destroy the internet. (What sort of idiot who calls himself or herself a “hacker” and wants to take down the internet? That’s like setting fire to the playground you play on. Really stupid!)

The point I guess for the rest of this post is that hackers don’t destroy the internet, corporations do (See @athome when they wiped out Excite.com ten years ago. Corporations are not people, however, just like people, if they use the Internet for evil, the hacker community will do what it must to preserve the freedom of the Internet and to expunge anyone who abuses it for power and profit.

Maybe after Anonymous deals with Karl Rove, they can do something about the IP and Patent people who seem more interest in creating new jobs for their legal padding department and less in the assembly line and programming department.

In the mean time, I just want my phone to work without drama.

A short list of Android apps that still won’t store on SD Card

The following Android applications are not being stored on the SD card like they should. Items listed are for the most part listed only by their application size being stored on the phone, except when noted.

• Contacts Storage [17.88MB] (YMMV, but all of this is data. No App. Why is this not on SD? And pressing “Clear Data” would be a very, very, very bad idea that you may regret.)
• (Google) Maps [10.58MB]
• Facebook [10.22MB] (Half is the application, the other half is data)
• Google+ [8.25MB]
• (Google) Market [7.27MB]
• (Google) Music [7.30MB] (I haven’t even downloaded any music yet using this app! Can’t be uninstalled.)
• GMail [4.74MB]
• Google Reader [5.10MB] (Half is the Application, the other half is data.)
• (Google) Voice Search [4.79MB]
• Twitter [4.53MB] (1/3 is App, the other 2/3s varies on how much data is cached.)
• (Google) Goggles [4.16MB]
• VuDroid [4.10MB]
• (Nullsoft) Winamp [3.86MB]
• Spotify [3.73MB]
• YouTube [3.70MB]
• My Verizon Mobile [3.68MB] (If all it does is check minutes and pays bills, why does it have to be so damn big? Likely bloatware.)
• TuneIn Radio [3.04MB]
• Calendar Storage [2.85MB] (YMMV. All data, no app. Why is this not stored on SD?!)
• (Google) Docs [2.66MB]
• TalkBack [2.94MB]
• LinkedIn [2.48MB]
• VEVO [2.37MB] (This is why having a separate app for music videos that could be played in YouTube is a stupid idea. Bloatware.)
• (Verizon) V CAST Tones [2.55MB] (I’m considering pitching this since I’m certain their is a way to install ringtones without this app. Bloatware.)
• Mobile Recovery [2.47MB]
• A Online Radio [2.18MB]
• (Google) Androidify [1.92MB]
• (AOL) AIM [1.88MB]
• Last.fm [1.62MB]
• Tumblr [1.36MB]
• (Google) Gesture Search [1.09MB]
• (Google) Car Home [1.16MB]
• Home Depot [1.00MB]
• Google Search [1.04MB]
• IDEdroid free [1.11MB]
• Dialer Storage [0.98MB] (YMMV. Again, all data, no app, and why not on SD?)
• (Google) Listen [0.93MB]
• Reforma [792KB]
• My Maps Editor by Google [780KB]
• (Google) Street View [596KB]
• Zombo [472KB] (You can do anything at Zombo Com, just not store it on the SD card.)
• Dice [424KB]
• LivingNeko [316KB]
• Advanced Task Killer Free [240KB]
• Arity [216KB]
• Flying Toast Live Wallpaper [212KB]
• Solitaire [184KB]
• Digital Rain [168KB]
• EasyTether Pro [164KB]
• Pastebin for Android [108KB]
• Bezier - Live Wallpaper [92KB]

There are a few apps that I had initially listed but in hindsight, they make sense to stay on the phone rather than the card. Specifically, Accessibility Preferences which only squats a lithe 24KB. The same could be said for other accessibility programs (that should be) using Accessibility Preferences, like SoundBack (92KB) and TalkBack (2.94MB). The infamous Advanced Task Killer Free (240KB) also makes sense to keep on the phone.

But many of the larger apps (those whose sizes are in megabytes) should be stored on the SD card.

Facebook is quite possibly the most guilty offender. As I mentioned, half of the space it takes up is data which should be stored on SD.

Part of it might half to do with photos being cached. Google+ seems to have uploaded a picture of a crate in Paris that may contain dinosaur bones. There is just one problem with this being on my phone: I’ve never been to Paris. Imagine if this picture had been something obscene or illegal. This is where Google watchdogs should keep their eyes peeled. Drama ensues!

Better control over where Android browses images needs to be created. Specifically, instead of displaying all the images that are on the SD card, a specific path should be used. (/DCIM/Camera/ obviously). Perhaps this problem is with my specific phone and has been corrected in newer phones or tablets.

The apps provided by Verizon are unacceptably large! What is in My Verizon Mobile that requires it to be nearly 3.7MB? SLIM THIS DOWN! The startup animation can be stripped out. As could the spin animation. The program also does not use the Android “back” or “menu” buttons. The most henious part is that their programs are so damn big, V CAST Tones is a separate app that is just over 2.5MB. And who in their right mind is going to pay $3 to install a ring tone and $2 for a “Ringback Tone” (assuming there is a difference) when more than likely there is a hack to create your own ringtone with music for free? Much like the Verizon Corporation itself, it’s time to clean house! Especially in the upper management! (I support the strikers, but I’m too broke to switch networks. Besides, I don’t want to leave Verizon. Not with the Google/Motorola Mobility merger going on.) Consider the Verizon apps uninstalled!

Twitter needs a tweak. The past few “low space” warnings and “text messages could not be downloaded” messages were the result of Twitter’s cache. As with Facebook, Twitter needs to go SD. The same said for the Tumblr app.

VEVO is probably the STUPIDEST app ever to exists. It’s like installing YouTube twice. When is the record industry going to realize that “their” videos aren’t worth creating a separate app.

I could go on with some of the flaws in this list. But I’m going to wrap this up with citing the outrageously huge Contacts Storage. If contact information is larger than Google Maps, why isn’t this stored on the SD Card or cloud storage? (Maybe it is cloud stored but it needs to be used more wisely.)